Heavy
by honeylove90
Summary: COMPLETED. One shot. Based from season five premiere of Gotham. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, PLEASE WATCH IT BEFORE READING THIS FANFICTION. Selina's inner thoughts while being in the hospital bed before she decides to end it all.


**Hello and Happy New Years fanfiction readers! This is my first time writing in Gotham verse and always wanted to write one since the beginning of season one. For those who have been following me for years on other fanfics, I'm planning to make a comeback by writing again. I just been busy with a rough semester and graduating this Spring (finally!).**

 **SPOILERS for season five, episode one so please watch the episode before reading this one shot. I'm a little rusty and planning to get better at writing again.**

 **Happy Reading!**

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 **The Clinic**

The curly brunette young woman named Selina Kyle laid in a hospital bed with her crystal blue eyes look up to the whitewashed out ceiling. _'This isn't my life, this isn't a life.'_ She mentally replied in her mind then continues, _'The bullet has been removed, no chance of_ _ever_ _walking again. I can't do this anymore, I don't want to live anymore; I wish Jeremiah would have just killed me,'_ Selina finished her mental conversation with herself as her eyes shifted from the ceiling towards the middle of the room.

' _I don't want to live this life anymore,'_ The young woman repeated her comment.

A door opens.

Her ears perked up as she turned her attention and blankly glance at the nurse rolling in a metal roller tray. The nurse grabs a clipboard from the tray turning around as she leaves the room.

A small shine of a reflection and seeing a small blade.

' _You know what to do, Cat. End it. End your pain, what good is this life for you going to do? Live in a wheelchair and not doing anything. Being Independent is what we loved and we can't be independent being in a wheelchair; who in the hell is going to care for you while being wheeled in a chair? Bruce? Alfred? Mar-she wouldn't give a rats-ass about what happened to you. End it all and be six feet under,'_ Selina's subconscious spoke to her.

Her green eyes looked one direction as she quickly pulls the covers off of her. The young woman shifts her body to the left side, falling to the tile floor.

"Ugh!" Selina said being in pain and flipped onto her stomach as she crawls towards the metal roller tray.

The young woman starts crawling towards the tray. She uses her right arm to reach up to the top of the tray. Her fingers trail for the small blade and felt a sharp end. _'Gotcha you little fucker!'_ Selina grabs the knife with the result of knocking down the tray next to her causing a huge 'clank'. She held the small blade into her hand knowing what she's about to do next.

Both the Doctor and the young nurse comes rushing in as they see their female patient with a blade in her position. The two of them tackled her trying to remove the sharp object from her. Selina started screaming as she held tighter and tighter to the blade towards her hands. She screams as if she's being murdered. The young woman screamed as she fought against aggressive movement.

"NNOOOOOO! NO! LET ME GO! LET GO!" Selina screamed loudly with tears falling from her eyes.

A pair of twin doors opens appearing Bruce Wayne hearing Selina screaming for her life, "Selina!" Bruce yelled as he runs towards her as he bends down to her.

"Help her!" The male doctor yelled.

Bruce obeyed the doctors' orders as grabs Selina in his arms.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" The young woman kept screaming over Bruce's shoulder.

The doctor and nurse quickly got up with the nurse giving the Doctor a needle. Selina jolted while being in the young man's arms as Bruce held her tightly.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! PLEASE!" Selina screamed as she cried.

The doctor injects the needle into the female patient's neck.

The injection of the neck starts calming her.

"Please… I have no reason to… I can't," Selina begins to come down from hypervalent as she hugs Bruce from under his arm and slowly becoming numb from the drug effects. "You should have just let me do it." Her eyes looked up at the ceiling again and her eyelids start to fall down.

Bruce and the Doctor laid her back to bed. A concerned look grows on Bruce's face as he turns to face the Doctor, "Do what? What happened?" He asked wanting to know.

"She was trying to kill herself. Put restraints on her when she wakes," The doctor ordered a command with the young nurse following him.

The young man looked down to see her in sleep form. Bruce uses both of hands placing them under her neck and back as he moves her head to the pillow. His hands withdrew from her body and put a blanket to cover her from her toes to her collarbone. The young man takes a seat right beside her bedside. Bruce reached towards Selina left hand and held it. He closed his eyes as he hears Jim Gordon's words playing in his head, _"Selina's a fighter, she'll pull through. Selina's a fighter."_ He opens his eyes as he looks down at her. "I failed you, Selina, I'm sorry," Bruce whispered.

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 **FIN**


End file.
